It is long overdue, but I thought it was about time I accepted another blog award to tide me over until the Pulitzer arrives *cough*. I was kindly nominated by Chrissey Harrison and Pat Hollett several moons ago, and I applaud them for their evident taste and rarefied discernment, in choosing me as the next recipient.
The One Lovely Blogger Award has a long and prestigious history that I know absolutely nothing about, but I am confident that I number amongst only a select few (thousand –Ed.) to have been lauded in this way.
As with all such glorious awards, it has a well-documented and authenticated set of traditions*, which should be shown due respect. These are as follows:
1. Share seven facts about yourself.
2. Pass this award on to “fifteen”* other deserving blog owners.
Note regarding the authenticity of The Pink Logo: Much has been made of the pinkness of the Logo, with many bloggers (most notably, esteemed Goth, Angela Addams) denigrated the value of the award because of its tendency to clash with the pervading colour scheme of the host blog. As a recognised expert in the fields of both Tradition of Good Taste, it falls to me to adjudicate the case for and against the Offending Pinkness.
I judge thusly– that because of the obscure origin of the Logo, compared to the documented ancient roots of the Award itself, that the Logo is an anomaly, an inappropriate grafting on of Offensive Pinkness to the proceedings, diminishing the gravitas and value of the Award.
My Judicial Amendment, to rectify this grave abhorrence, is that here, amongst the tasteful tans and earthy tones of my own blog, that the Logo be re-coloured in a manner befitted its historicity. (If the reader insists on regarding the Original Offence, just click on the Tasteful Logo above).
Now onto the most important part, Facts About Me (note these will be rendered in a more, modern, tone– pandering to the current fad, of increasing the reader’s emotional engagement with the prose on the page):
2) My left foot is half a shoe size bigger than my right.
3) My favourite colour is green. Tammy Crosby is painting me a #Writercult mug, with green on it, so she is my current fave person, after my wife and son (and extended family, in case they are reading this). If you would like to be my new current fave person, then think of a better present. 5 Star reviews of any work I publish on Amazon counts double.
4) I have unbeatable geek credentials: I have played Warhammer, Dungeons and Dragons (Advanced Edition), Call of Cthulu, Gurps, and many others. If you don’t what these are you simply aren’t cool.
5) Cartoons are awesome. Tom and Jerry never gets old.
6) The only diet worth doing is the see-food diet, because of this I am the sweetest person I know…
7) I have occasionally been known to have food with my Ketchup. What the food is I cannot tell you, because I can neither see it, or taste it, after I have applied the Ketchup. The Ketchup is ideally Heinz, but Daddy’s will do, but any ketchup is better than none.
* – N.B: There is much debate about the use of the word “fifteen” in the historical records. Most experts agree this cannot be accurate; otherwise, any riff-raff would be included simply to make up the numbers. I shall, therefore, bow to the more recent precedent of choosing two recipients, and bestow the award only twice, to the deserving. Neither has been given an award before, and it is about time they both received recognition for the estimable efforts:
http://richweatherly.wordpress.com/about/ – Rich Weatherly. Why? Because he writes with insight and sensitivity. I don’t know what those concepts mean, but they sound like something to aspire to…
http://www.magdaolchawska.com/ – Magda Olchawska. Why? She is talented, creative and hard working, and her films and children’s books ably display this. Also, she has such a great name, which sounds fantastic to someone who isn’t Polish.