Writer T. James' Exploration of Words, on the Internet.

Run-Over Frogs: Gross-Out Poetry.

After this poem came to me yesterday I was forced, after much introspection and self-examination, to come to the inescapable conclusion that I am, in fact, a 9-year-old boy trapped in a grown man’s body. Again, you have been warned…

 

Dead frogs are mushy, frogs they are green,
And when run-over, look like a busted spleen.
Flat legs a-twitchin’ on the ground;
Their heads marmalised – too spread to be found.
Tiny bones cracked, intestines now soup,
Licked up by the pet-dog, and turned into poop.

 

A Gross-Out Poem By T. James, October, 2011.

 

Image used under Creative Commons License. Click image for details.

20 Comments

  1. j d waye

    LOL! Love it. It reminds me of when I was very small, and my brother and I captured frogs and set them up in a little backyard pond. But they all ran away… across the road. Gross.
    Excellent poem. Thanks for digging up a fond (if gross) memory.

    • T. James

      Frogs are not known for their survival instincts, or their ability to cross the road safely… I hope the therapy bills after this little incident weren’t too expensive :)

  2. Gareth

    LOL, nothing wrong with being a big kid T.J. After all, Growing Old is mandatory, growing up is optional. LOL.

    • T. James

      I shall remember that quote the next time my wife hauls me up for misbehaviour… ;)

  3. Jann England

    You are seriously twisted for writing this TJ! I have not stopped sniggering since I read it the first time. Even more bizarrely; reading it for the second time it was just as funny. Now who is the warped one amongst us: You for writing it or me for coming back for more? There must be something in the air, so aptly inspirational and yet morally wrong, but do we care? Press onwards my friend and might I suggest you try the squished rabbit theory next. It takes ages to stop running round in circles, even with a tyre print down the middle. Jann xx

    • T. James

      Well… at least the rabbit is pre-tenderised before it gets cooked… It is shameful that annually tons of usable road-kill goes to waste…

  4. Angela Addams

    lol…very funny, TJ…and I totally believe that you are a child trapped in a man’s body.

    • T. James

      That’s why I sometimes find it hard to write… While adult me searches for interesting plot-lines and characters, mini-me wants to play with Mechano…

  5. SLWestendorf

    ROFL I LOVE this poem! It made me laugh a loud – this can become a classic! Thanks for the giggle – keep ’em coming. :D

    • T. James

      Thanks Sandy… I shall write more as inspiration, or artistic constipation, moves me, or does not… ;)

  6. Chrissey Harrison

    That has a strange beauty to it. An innocence. And it made me giggle, lots. There’s a kind of eagerness for life and an ability to see beauty in all things that escapes us as adults. So congratulations on your regression ;)

    Oh, and that should totally be published in a kids book, or at the very least a greetings card!

    • T. James

      Thanks Chrissey… It’s nice that someone can think of me as innocent… ;)

  7. Marianne Su

    TJ, loved this from beginning to end. It reminds me of the “politically incorrect” fairy tales and poems I had when I was a kid. Thanks for that.

    • T. James

      Thanks Marianne. I know there’s a kid in me, and I was hoping the poem would reach the kid in others too…

  8. T. Crosby

    LMAO! Fricking hilarious! Loved it. As you were. ;)

    • T. James

      Ma’am! Yes Ma’am! Standing to Attention until next inspiration Ma’am! Alert and Ready for Fiction! :)

  9. Pat Hollett

    That was so well done with childlike innocence that I really could see a kid saying that or writing it for a school class. Well done…its like you’re putting yourself into a different character when writing. Isn’t that what writing is about…writing as ‘the character’ and putting yourself in their shoes. You have a knack for doing it, and doing it well. A wonderfully written poem which made me smile thinking about childhood.
    Oh, and btw..you’re no different from any other man…they’re all 9 yrs old trapped in older bodies! LOL :)

  10. T. James

    Thank you Pat… That is one of the scary parts of writing – the self-discovery, and finding that I’m not actually writing as a character, just letting the inner 9 year old out to play :)

  11. DianeG

    Yes, fun, and I also recommend Three Dead Moths in my Mail Box. The blog of writer Jan Markley who also wrote – Dead Frog on the Porch. http://janmarkley.blogspot.com/ Enjoy.

    • T. James

      Thanks for the recommend Diane. It’s good to know I am not the only one with a twisted mind… We writer’s seem to be unnaturally cruel to our little green friends… ;)

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