Writer T. James' Exploration of Words, on the Internet.

Cumberland Sausage, Steak’n’ale Pie: A Silly Poem.

A short poem, bemoaning the fact that some of the tastiest foods always seem to be the worst for you… :(


Nothing beats Cumberland Sausage, Steak’n’ale Pie;

Too hard to resist, however I try.

Cartilage, gristle, over-cooked, dry?

Doesn’t matter to me: carnivore’s heaven, *sigh*.


They say you mustn’t eat this, but why?

Cholesterol, coagulating in arteries to lie.

The mortar, between the potato bricks that you fry;

Thickening, and growing fatty walls ‘til you die.


Food poetry by T. James, October, 2011.


Image used under Creative Commons License. Click image for details.


  1. j d waye

    Now I’m hungry, but all I have are lemon tarts.

  2. T. James

    *All* you have are lemon tarts?!! Such delicacies are a revelation! You are truly blessed! :)

  3. Gareth

    LOL, TJ I know the pain, I was brought up in Cumbria so they were and still are my favourite type of sausage. The only consolation that I have now is that I cook them on a Foreman Grill so the fat drains away. Mind you, when I see my parents they know to bring me some from my favourite butcher and I then go into town (Bury) with them to buy some Black Pudding. Oh the agony.

    • T. James

      Hi Gareth.. Black Pudding, one of the Universe’s most underrated food stuffs. Also good for house construction, and unbeatable with Ketchup… Mmmmm. Have a clear conscience though, you only eat it to keep your parents happy…

      I’m sure the Foreman Grill is less fatty than a grilled Foreman… Just a thought. ;)

      • Gareth

        Try the black pudding with vinegar on it. It’s how its eaten round here traditionally and its wonderful to go to the market to be able to buy it hot.

  4. T. Crosby

    I’m hungry too, but craving bacon… :)

    • T. James

      Bacon is cut into thin slices, so obviously will slim you when you eat it… ;)

  5. Chrissey Harrison

    I don’t like the second verse. I’m choosing to ignore that bit and and go down the chippy for a pie ;)

    • T. James

      Just make sure it’s a Pukka not a Puka *bloooaaargh* ;)

  6. Angela Addams

    I love sausages so much that I named my beloved (passed) cat, Sausage. She was a darling little thing.

    You’ve summed up your love well, TJ…ode to the greasy pork tube…very nice.

    • T. James

      I am sorry to hear about your cat, but I am glad she let you with some happy memories.

      As for the poem it’s important to write about things you are passionate about… ;)

  7. Marianne Su

    Very *satisfying* read. Almost as good as eating the food itself.

  8. T. James

    Thanks Marianne, lower in cholesterol too… :)

  9. Pat Hollett

    Gotta say TJ…this really makes me think about what I eat. You’ve created a gruesome visual to some tasty food that makes you realize what happens to them as they enter the intestines…ewww… good one! Well written! ;)

    • T. James

      Thanks Pat, I hope I haven’t put you any of your favourite foods… I think almost anything is OK in moderation… I know I am going to continue to enjoy these delicacies from time to time…

  10. Natalie Westgate

    Hahaha like this! Now I’m craving steak and ale pie – something I think I’m going to have to make myself because I’m not sure America knows what ale is!

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