Writer T. James' Exploration of Words, on the Internet.

Cumberland Sausage, Steak’n’ale Pie: A Silly Poem.

A short poem, bemoaning the fact that some of the tastiest foods always seem to be the worst for you… :(


Nothing beats Cumberland Sausage, Steak’n’ale Pie;

Too hard to resist, however I try.

Cartilage, gristle, over-cooked, dry?

Doesn’t matter to me: carnivore’s heaven, *sigh*.


They say you mustn’t eat this, but why?

Cholesterol, coagulating in arteries to lie.

The mortar, between the potato bricks that you fry;

Thickening, and growing fatty walls ‘til you die.


Food poetry by T. James, October, 2011.


Image used under Creative Commons License. Click image for details.

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  1. Now I’m hungry, but all I have are lemon tarts.

  2. *All* you have are lemon tarts?!! Such delicacies are a revelation! You are truly blessed! :)

  3. LOL, TJ I know the pain, I was brought up in Cumbria so they were and still are my favourite type of sausage. The only consolation that I have now is that I cook them on a Foreman Grill so the fat drains away. Mind you, when I see my parents they know to bring me some from my favourite butcher and I then go into town (Bury) with them to buy some Black Pudding. Oh the agony.

    • Hi Gareth.. Black Pudding, one of the Universe’s most underrated food stuffs. Also good for house construction, and unbeatable with Ketchup… Mmmmm. Have a clear conscience though, you only eat it to keep your parents happy…

      I’m sure the Foreman Grill is less fatty than a grilled Foreman… Just a thought. ;)

      • Try the black pudding with vinegar on it. It’s how its eaten round here traditionally and its wonderful to go to the market to be able to buy it hot.

  4. I’m hungry too, but craving bacon… :)

  5. I don’t like the second verse. I’m choosing to ignore that bit and and go down the chippy for a pie ;)

  6. I love sausages so much that I named my beloved (passed) cat, Sausage. She was a darling little thing.

    You’ve summed up your love well, TJ…ode to the greasy pork tube…very nice.

    • I am sorry to hear about your cat, but I am glad she let you with some happy memories.

      As for the poem it’s important to write about things you are passionate about… ;)

  7. Very *satisfying* read. Almost as good as eating the food itself.

  8. Thanks Marianne, lower in cholesterol too… :)

  9. Gotta say TJ…this really makes me think about what I eat. You’ve created a gruesome visual to some tasty food that makes you realize what happens to them as they enter the intestines…ewww… good one! Well written! ;)

    • Thanks Pat, I hope I haven’t put you any of your favourite foods… I think almost anything is OK in moderation… I know I am going to continue to enjoy these delicacies from time to time…

  10. Hahaha like this! Now I’m craving steak and ale pie – something I think I’m going to have to make myself because I’m not sure America knows what ale is!

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