THE WORD ON THE .NET

Writer T. James' Exploration of Words, on the Internet.

Category: Silly Poems and Nonsense Rhymes

Taking Tea with Mr. Mole: A Nonsense Poem

There once was a vole, a fox, and a mole—daintily tippling tea from cups with filigree—down inside Mole’s burrow.

Said the fox to the mole, “If you are free, can I trouble you for some giblets or possibly steak riblets, to munch on with our tea? It would do much to lessen my sorrow.”

“My apologies dear Fox, for with meat I’m quite lost, but I do have a worm that will make your innards squirm?” said Mole, his voice touched with frost.

“No. I can’t be doing with all that wriggling and jiggling—my insides I don’t want grumbly. But some lovely intestine is really quite fetching and my digestion will not pay the cost.”

“So sorry, Mister Fox, for your cuisinal loss, may hap you will have to go hungry. Now Vole, a question, no, consider this suggestion: would you like some worm pie, garnished atop with toad’s eye?”

“Ah yes, Vole,” said Fox, “you’re a plump fellow, and despite wearing yellow, I think I’d like you for my tumbly.” And quick as a flash he stripped off Vole’s sash, and swallowed Vole whole with a sigh.

Mole’s mouth was agape as Fox reached for his cape. “M…M… Mister V…V…Vole!” he stammered, as his little heart hammered. “Fox, you’ve just eaten my dinner guest!”

“Mole, fear not, for Vole has ended my lack of a small, furry snack, and now I should be going. But I’ll return next Wednesday to this passable assembly—just invite someone else I can digest.”

—♥—

Taking Tea with Mr. Mole, a nonsense poem, copyright © T. James, March, 2013.

Image: ”Cup Of Tea With Cheesecake“, courtesy of  Marcus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For Bea: Poetry From a Soliloquy (Hamlet’s)

After an over-long delay, during which Bea has been angelically patient and for which she has my gratitude, her prize winning poem is finally here. Bea has the dubious honour of being the latest subject of my Bard vs. Bard inspired poetry series. The last great poet to receive my unwanted attention was T. S. Elliot. Today I have turned toward that most prolific and esteemed of playwrights: William Shakespeare. I can present this to you only because of Bea‘s generous nature, and her tolerance for all that is bonkers. Read on, and be amazed… *cough*

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Poetry Without Words: Emoti-poetry, The Literary Wave of the Future!

Haiku is a beautiful art form. At its best it is profound, moving, and evocative. All this is achieved with an artful economy of words. But does it go far enough? Is it not simply an expression of yearning; for a higher, purer, more quintessential expression of the poetic art?

The wait for the Transcendent Form is now over! The Muse has come, and a new genre of poetry is born!

I present to you, for your delectation, the world-wide debut of:

Emoti-Poetry: Poetry Without Words. 

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Cumberland Sausage, Steak’n’ale Pie: A Silly Poem.

A short poem, bemoaning the fact that some of the tastiest foods always seem to be the worst for you… :( Continue reading

Silly Verse: Immortalise Those You Know.

For those reading this who have never heard of the OWG it’s an online writing group I was kindly invited to join several weeks ago. I met some great people there, and thought I would attempt to immortalise those I know well enough in verse. I make no apologies for the fact that some of the humour consists of ‘in jokes’, so feel free to ask them what it means on Twitter, and explore their websites to find out a little more about them.

Blame what happens below on Tammy Crosby who tried to teach me about haiku last night, but it was too complex for my little brain, and so I wrote this instead. A tribute to online friends in verse, written in a style suited to their general fun bonkers-ness. Let me know what you think, and if you’re not on the list and want to be, just let me know in the comments… I hope you enjoy it. ;) Continue reading

The Song of the Jellifieds: Not a Poem by T. S. Elliot.

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats is a collection of whimsical poems by T. S. Eliot about feline psychology and sociology, published by Faber and Faber. It is the basis for the record-setting musical Cats.[1] The poems were written during the 1930s and included by Eliot, under his assumed name “Old Possum,” in letters to his god-children.[2] They were collected and published in 1939 with cover illustrations by the author (Source: Wikipedia, Aug. 2011).

These poems are beloved by readers, and cat lovers, the world over. Few would criticise T.S. Elliot’s credentials as a poet. So only a fool would try to re-write his work given such well-loved subject matter, and the prestigious status of the original author. Only a fool, and me.

I do not contend that my attempt is of the same quality as the original source material. In fact, I offer no guarantee as to the quality of my effort, and I leave it entirely up to the reader to judge. Please be kind, as anyone who attempts something like this must clearly be a little ‘off their rocker’.

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The Hare: A Silly Animal Verse.

The Hare is a tough ole creature,

With one outstanding feature,

It’s a rabbit with attitude,

It doesn’t do platitudes,

Get it cross, and it’ll teach yer.

 

A Silly Verse by T. James, August 2011.

Kathmandu – A Short Nonsense Poem.

Why? I have absolutely no idea…

 

What a Kathmandu,

A Frogdog wun’t,

Because a Kathmandu has hands.

 

But a Kathmandun’t,

When the Frogdog’s wunt,

To wait in ambush in the sands.

 

A nonsense poem by T. James, August 2011.

 

 

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