The Versatile Blogger Award.
My obvious greatness has been proven by be me having just been accorded another prestigious award where I had to share with the world some staggeringly interesting facts about yours truly. To be graced with a second accolade so quickly seems entirely appropriate. It gives me the opportunity to share some absolutely true, and previously top secret things about myself which you may have suspected, but been unable to confirm. Today, the rumours will be quelled, and the truth shall be revealed!There are three rules… (Which I shall not bend, honest guv’nor):
1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post. So, a heartfelt thank you to Krista Walsh, who has one of the coolest blog names I know of: The Raven’s Quill. (See I told you I was being a good boy today).
2. Share seven facts about myself (I promise these facts are all completely and utterly true, honest ):
- I am actually a published author, poet and journalist with over twenty years experience. All the errors you find in my blog posts, writing submitted for critique, and other works are completely intentional – there entirely to teach you all how to critique better, and be more vigilant. I am proud of the amount I have taught you already.
- Those who have been paying attention will have noted that my latest fiction piece is written from a woman’s perspective. The truth be told, I am in touch with my feminine side because I am really a woman.
- If you have seen the photos, you will know why I am deeply embarrassed by the amount of unsightly body hair I have. I am thinking of attending an auction of old military hardware so that I can purchase an ex-Star Wars Defence Laser. Only this is likely to have the raw power I need to cope with such dense foliage.
- If you have either Tweeted, or emailed me, than I have hacked your computer, and I know everything about you. No, don’t look around or smirk smugly at the monitor enveloping yourself in your self-made delusion of security – I mean you. I know your dirty little secret – yes – that dirty little secret. All I ask for is a suitable donation via email to ensure my silence. I am also pinching plots and ideas from your unreleased stories, first drafts, and writer’s notes. The police will never believe it’s me because I have confessed openly on the internet, and given that I am obviously not stupid, I now have a water-tight alibi.
- Pink is actually my very favourite bestest colour ever, and I go *squee* inside when I see booties or a handbag in that shade, or in lilac. The only reason I do not have an iPhone is that they do not make one in pink, and I really think that Eric Schmitt is much better looking than Steve Jobs was while he was alive, so of course that’s going to influence my buying decisions…
- I am actually the CEO of an international paper consortium, and if I have ever supported another writer, or encouraged anyone in any way, it’s simply to get more books into print and so increase my profits.
- I am also an illegal gnome dealer… *opens rain coat* “See? Go’ everfin’ ya won’… Big pink’uns, liddle pink’uns, stripey and spotty pink’uns… any coler ya won’ so long as it’s pink. Oh, an gnomes wiv pink fluffy slippers is extra- ya perv.”
So now you know I am a wholesome character, a well-adjusted human being, and an all-round good egg.
3. Pass this award along to some other notable blogs of quality, who are not openly diplaying the award logo, so may or may not have the award. In no particular order:
http://www.seanhayden.org/ Sean has a great blog, and simply the best hair ever. I’m sure he has been nominated before, but for reasons of modesty does not display awards on his website. Perhaps another recommendation will change his mind.
http://www.colinfbarnes.com/ Colin knows lots, about lots of things. He is apparently at the opposite end of the spectrum to Sean as far as hair is concerned… He is also apparently too modest to admit his greatness.
http://www.blog.angelaaddams.com/ Angie has an agent, a fact that alone makes her worthy. Modesty also rules in her thoughts (as far as awards go anyway).
http://www.susanjpowens.com/ Because Susan has one of the most musical websites I have ever visited, and now she has a little something else to blog about…
http://www.imranwrites.com/ Because there’s some great design work and writing going on here, and Imran is an all-round nice guy.