For my sins I have been involved with this project for the last six months, and I am pleased to announce it is finally out. Working on this book with Faye has been a unique experience—one I invite readers to sample for themselves—the cover and the description say more than I ever could:
DESCRIPTION
“For readers, writers, and all lovers of books: this is an eBook with a deliciously dark sense of humour…
The writing guide “they” never wanted you to read. In If Your Writing Sucks QUIT Faye Ling stabs at the soft underbelly of the writing world. She casts her discerning eye over many of writing and publishing’s little darlings, before breaking their necks and casting them aside like flaccid rag dolls.
With her rapier wit and sardonic put-downs, Faye is cynicism incarnate—she is like no one you have ever read, and may be someone you wish you never had. Whether you laugh or cry will depend on what you’re made of—but however Faye moves you, reading this book will be an experience you will never forget.
* For readers and book-lovers, this eBook offers a peek into the hairy netherworld of writers, writing and publishing.
* For writers, Faye-as-your-guide will either be your clarion call-to-arms and the challenge you have to meet, or she will be the rock of reality that sinks your little dinghy of hope.
Read her and weep—you, your reading/writing, and your will to live may never be the same again.
Please Note: this tome contains over 85 quality colour illustrations and so may take a little longer than your average eBook to download. (Discounts will not be given to those reading in black and white.)
WARNING: You may come across the occasional use of colourful language and vividly descriptive prose.”
A COUPLE OF CHOICE QUOTES
Faye on romance and the paranormal:
“According to writers of horror and paranormal stories, this is every woman’s girlish dream: fur in the bedclothes; the romance of a cold wet nose on the neck and drool down the back; and hours spent picking bits of car tyre from between his teeth.”
Faye on men and writing poetry:
“Men should not write poetry. Poetry is about sensitivity, empathy and the intuitive understanding of ephemeral things like love, happiness, and the female orgasm. A poet should be able to appreciate beautiful and fragile objects like kittens, clouds, flowers, and clitorises. But men have leaden hearts and sausage fingers, and so are inherently unsuited to the finer, more refined aspects of writing.”
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If Your Writing Sucks QUIT is available from Amazon (with the Kindle apps available, it can be read on PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad, and Android phones and tablets as well as Kindle devices):
(Other formats may be released later.)
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Whatever her faults, I think Faye does have a sensitive side, and given her current circumstances and state of health she would appreciate any encouragement you have to give in the comments section below… (When I spoke to her last, she said she didn’t care what people said as long as they buy the book, but I’m sure she is just putting up a brave front.)
If anyone is interested in hosting blog posts, reviews etc. with either myself or Faye (if you are feeling very brave) then just drop me a line via the “Contact Info” tab at: tjames.org.
You can follow Faye on twitter (although how sociable she is likely to be, given recent events, I cannot say). If you would like to know a little more about her, just click the picture below:
Image copyright information:
Cover Image Design: © T. James.
Original Image 1 – I Hate Cleaning Room!: © DoctorKan – Fotolia.com
Original Image 2 – Parental Advisory Label: © TheSupe87 – Fotolia.com
Original Image 3 – Overflowing Wastepaper Basket: © GSP Software (now part of the Avanquest Software Group) and its licensors. All rights reserved.
Faye Ling’s Picture: © Paulus Nugroho R – Fotolia.com
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Congratulations on your new project. I admire you for believing in your work when it doesn’t fit the mold. Best of luck.
Thanks, Marianne. I’ve read several writers on their blogs talk about eBooks and self-publishing being a brave new frontier. I guess I’m testing the theory…
Added it to my wishlist on my kindle. Book looks interesting, I am curious to check it out. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Bryden, but you come across as so nice and kind. I can’t be held responsible for some of Faye’s opinions… Still, surviving five kids has to mean there’s a core of steel in there, so you can probably handle Faye. I think if she saw a single nappy (diaper) she’d run a mile.